How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
