i think my mom watched the whole time
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
