1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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