if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the night ended with taco bell and tears
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
