My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
