Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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