I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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