Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
