Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
