your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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