I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
