**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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