Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
