Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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