Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
