Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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