Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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