She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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