I need help removing her.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I did not marry a roomba.
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