Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
