Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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