We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
