you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can text with my tongue
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
