She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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