we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
