...so i touched it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
