i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
