Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
