Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
