found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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