the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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