I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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