she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize