You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
