Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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