I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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