i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
