Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
