My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
