I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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