I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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