My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
