And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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