honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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