Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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