Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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