I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
His nipple licking is glorious
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