Pappa wants mamma naked
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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