My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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