covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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