I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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