the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
