I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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