i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
