Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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