I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
