He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
