Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
