you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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