last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
