At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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