May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Holy shit dude........stairs
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
